I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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