I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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