my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
