what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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