Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
