He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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