im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
