I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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