i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
