I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
