...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize