How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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