Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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