he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
