He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
