He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What a dumb baby whore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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