I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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