He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize