someone threw a dead crab at me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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