goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
