Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club đ
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying âFUCK YOUâ to all my spam emails. Canât tell you how excited I am
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
