Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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