You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
