just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
