Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize