I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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