Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize