I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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