I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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