worst night to have a conscience
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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