saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize