dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do herpes really smell.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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