question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
