i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm too high and old for this...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
