I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
