I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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