He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
