She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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