i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
