My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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