Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
