does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
