I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
