Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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