Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
