Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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