Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
