If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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