Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
