We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im drinking this country out of the recession.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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