my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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