direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize