so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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