i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
